I know a business owner who runs a well-known NGO in the UK, devoted to helping poor countries like Ethiopia. She focuses on equipping girls with knowledge since they start their work life early.
Along with professional experts, she also built a studio for emotional release. Despite her extraordinary achievements, she felt as if something was missing.
Her problem is that she is a perfectionist who strives to exceed the expectations of others. She wishes that others would reassure her that imperfect performance is acceptable.
She doesn’t value her accomplishments because of this missing piece. “I don’t deserve good things to happen to me unless I do them perfectly,” she believes.
She decided to seek my help when she felt this way in order to be fulfilled in her life again.
Q. How would you feel if I told you that being a perfectionist is related to childhood trauma?
A. Really, but I feel I had a great childhood.
Q. How do you feel when you achieve something to its highest standard?
A. Protected, as I accomplished what`s needed and no one can blame me for anything.
Q. What do you think your perfectionism is attempting to shield you from?
A. Criticism and judgments.
She realized that the standards she has for herself belong to her parents and are not really hers. She thought by holding on to their standards she will make them happier. However, this exhausted her and made her parents unhappy, despite their admiration for her perfectionist nature.
I assisted her in revealing her deepest fear, then healing her past wounds, removing the scars from her memories, and replacing them with an empowering perspective. When she did that and let go of those others people’s expectations, she began to live with fulfillment and enjoying her success.
This missing piece is internal, and it stems primarily from conflicting values and the desire to achieve your dreams while holding others’ expectations.
What about you, Have you found your missing puzzle piece?
If not, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
*I read every email and respond to the majority of them.